“Highly disruptive and unacceptable” hydraulic fracturing operations in the UK are “almost certainly” the reason for the alarming slide in fortunes at English Premier League football giants Manchester United, their manager has claimed.

Near “daily” earth tremors and the diversion of water supplies to shale gas exploration sites have led to the pitch at the club’s hallowed Old Trafford home becoming unsuitable to the team’s attacking style of play.

“People have highlighted our home form this season as unacceptable,” manager David Moyes said at a press conference ahead of the club’s Champions League quarter-final against German giants Bayern Munich on Tuesday.

United have lost six games at home in the league already this season and sit in seventh position, 17 points off leaders and bitter local rivals Liverpool.

“But people have got tay understand that, when we play a home game, we are not just up against the deadly strike force of Chelsea, Fulham or Norwich – we have to deal with the challenges posed by so-called fracking, too,” Moyes moaned.

Fracking operations in north-west England have already drawn hefty criticism after being linked to earth tremors. UK junior IGas said on Monday that it had intersected two shale formations at a coalbed methane play just outside Manchester – although it is not known if there was any link between the Irlam-1 exploration well and United’s back-to-back recent home league reverses against Liverpool and Manchester City.

“Shale wells use a huge amount of water,” Moyes said. “We need that water to make the Old Trafford surface slick, so we can play the fast-paced game favoured by the likes of Wayne Rooney, Rio Ferdinand and Marouane Fellaini.

“People have tay realise that these things cost a huge amount of money, sink to extremely low depths and very frequently produce no returns whatsoever.”

It is unknown, however, if Moyes was referring to shale gas wells or his own squad.

When it was pointed out to Moyes at the press conference, ahead of a match United are expected to win, that the form of Liverpool and City appeared not to have been negatively affected by fracking in the region, he said: “Well, City are owned by the Abu Dhabi royal family and Liverpool’s owner, John W Henry, is from the US – so both are well versed in dealing with oil and gas exploration activities.”

The fact that United’s owners, the Glazer family, are also American seemed not to faze the manager, who said club veteran Ryan Giggs had suggested playing away from home all of next season to mitigate the negative effects of fracking.

In other April Fool’s Day “news”, UK newspaper The Sun reported that the Queen has approved fracking in the grounds of Buckingham Palace to reduce soaring utility bills of £3.1 million ($5.16 million).

The Guardian newspaper reported that an independent Scotland would switch to driving on the right-hand side of the road, The Telegraph reported that a new Scottish pound coin would feature Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond, while The Independent said the UN is drawing up plans to send a peacekeeping force to the border between England and Scotland ahead of September’s independence vote.